The Self Esteem Trap: Why Focusing on Yourself Keeps you Stuck - and Focusing on Your Actions Set You Free

What if everything you’ve learned about building self-esteem is missing the point – and just plain wrong?

The Self-Esteem Trap offers a groundbreaking, practical, and Torah-based approach to overcoming self-doubt, building genuine confidence, and breaking free from the need to constantly prove your worth. It will transform the way you think about yourself and show you the true questions you’ve got to ask to achieve authentic self-esteem.

What the experts have to say about The Self-Esteem Trap

"I am confident that readers will find this work thought-provoking and most beneficial, helping them live healthier and more meaningful lives while growing in their avodas Hashem."

From the haskamah by Rabbi Yaakov Bender
Rosh Yeshivah, Darchei Torah

"I couldn't put this book down. Its powerful message is presented with remarkable clarity, simplicity, and originality. A must-read for mechanchim and anyone seeking a happier, more meaningful life."

Rabbi Shmuel Baron
Rosh Yeshivah, Imrei Binah

"Accept your inherent importance, stop judging who you are, and start mastering what you do. Read this book to trade the relentless noise of self-doubt for unshakable clarity, freedom, and purpose."

Rabbi Aharon Kaufman
Rosh Yeshivah, Yeshiva Ateres Shmuel of Waterbury

"The Self-Esteem Trap isn't another book about feeling good about yourself. It offers an entirely new paradigm for understanding self-esteem, and a practical path to achieving it. Read it and you'll stop asking, "Am I good enough?" for good."

David J. Lieberman, Ph.D.
New York Times bestselling author, noted psychotherapist, and speaker

"Rabbi Kestenbaum offers a helpful perspective on the self-esteem trap, revealing how our preoccupation with self-worth reflects the workings of the ego (yetzer hara). That realization alone can be life-altering!"

Dr. Shloimie Zimmerman, Psy.D.
Author of From Boys to Men

"One must be shrewd and strategize to achieve fear of Heaven (Berachos 17a). Rabbi Kestenbaum has achieved this dictum with his book. He has developed a wonderful approach to avodas Hashem, which can be of tremendous benefit to all."

Rabbi Menachem Zupnik
Rav, Bais Torah U'Tefilah, Passaic, NJ